How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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