I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
