Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
