I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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