I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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