There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
time to smoke my breakfast
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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