his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
