am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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