I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
