I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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