Jerry, you need to find god
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
