Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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