are you still at the devil's house?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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