Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this just has baby written all over it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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