okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
