I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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