you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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