I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
vagina is talking i cant
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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