he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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