Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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