I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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