fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
