The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
