I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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