eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
