FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
