yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
