So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize