You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
