Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
4 words: hood of his car
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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