he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
