I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We have started to decorate penises.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
