Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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