He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
