i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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