Dual....:-)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
