Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
