just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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