I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize