I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
