Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize