So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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