You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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