ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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