i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
