i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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