I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
