bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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