Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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