Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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