Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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