he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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