she woke up with a sticky ear
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
