Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
