fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
