She said her name was "party"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize