dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
