I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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