so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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