I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
