But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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