I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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