I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
