What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
