Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
