at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
